I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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