dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
