Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
