Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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