Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
