I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
