so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
