Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
