Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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