def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
