He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just pee around me
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
