She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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