I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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