Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
