Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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