Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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