I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
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