People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
