I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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