Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
