i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
