i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
