Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i now understand why vodka
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
