I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
