We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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