Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize