yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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