What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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