Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
