um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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