Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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