i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
