Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
