Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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