I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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