Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
