I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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