Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
