So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
