"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
