I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Randomize
