just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
