I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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