The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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