In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
