I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
