I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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