i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
