i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
