My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
