you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
