we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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