Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
